How to Find Clarity When You Feel Lost: A Soulful Guide to Clear Thinking, Aligned Decisions & Inner Peace

After many years of offering healing services to my community, one thing that I always found that everyone was seeking, no matter their perceived reason for coming in, was clarity.

I actually started making a gentle joke to my friends who I worked with that I should become a clarity expert because it seemed like everyone was so desperate to find it and I often just had to guide them back home to their power and their inner knowing so that they could make the choice to do what they wanted to from a place of empowerment rather than feeling like they had to make a choice for one reason or another.

Because the truth about having clarity isn't that you can't find it or that it is somehow this elusive energy to you. Not at all. The truth about having clarity is that somewhere within you, the clarity is already alive and well. It's more about shutting off the need for approval with what you want, not looking outside of yourself for answers and instead exploring the gentle workings of the heart.

I remember being in that place myself many years ago. I desperately wanted to know what my next steps in life were and yet I felt like I just could not get anywhere with any part of my life...

Dating a guy who wouldn't commit.

Feeling stuck in a financial loop and never having more.

Wondering if I'd ever figure out what my career would be.

I felt like I was trying to do everything right (whatever "it" was) and I wasn't getting anywhere. If this is you right now, then this blog post is definitely for you.

It all changed when I chose to listen to a whisper in my heart

Much of the magic I experience in my life can come down to very specific moments where my soul spoke to me. You see, when the soul speaks it is not usually very loud or in your face (as we try to encourage it to be), no - it is often quite soft, steady and gentle. 

I always describe it as a whisper.

And every time I have chosen to listen to the whisper of my intuition it has guided me home to my heart, and that is where it always serves up a nice hot plate of clarity.

Start with self-awareness.

As a woman who has felt unseen, unheard and deeply misunderstood almost her entire life I often found myself putting my needs aside and focusing my energy on everyone around me. This became a sort of pattern for me and always left me feeling burnt out, bitter, frustrated and resentful. 

I did this because I never felt worthy enough to even ask myself what I wanted, needed or felt. Does that sound familiar to you?

You are just as worthy as everyone else of receiving the fulfilment of your wants, needs and emotions. So, the invitation here is to notice where are you leaking energy and giving too much that it’s taking away from your joy and your life.

When did you say yes when you wanted to say no?
What areas of your life do you feel drained by?
How would your life be different right now if you were living in alignment with your needs, wants and emotions?

Awareness is always the first step in healing because you can't heal what you can't see. 

From external noise to internal knowing

Clarity is generally impossible for you to achieve for the main reason that in order to have clarity you must be able to clearly listen to your intuition, and the thoughts and opinions of others, and our desire for approval through them, drown out our senses and as such your intuition can no longer be heard.

I’m positive if you take a moment to tune it, it’s easy for you to recognize when you are impacted by someone else’s thoughts or opinions. The energies of fear and guilt are heavy and burdensome in the body whereas your inner knowing is often light, gentle and subtle. In order to halt your desire to people please or seek validation and instead turn to intuition, you must be able to discern what intuition feels like to you.

A practice I like to use as a way of intuitively checking in with myself is “Hear the heart”. To do this you pause, say the mantra “Hear the heart”, take a deep breath and feel how your innate energy desires to respond. Notice how your body is responding, how your mind is responding and how your emotions are responding. This is the first step of being intuitively guided - to listen with all your senses.

Notice how a no feels in your body, mind and emotions. Notice how a yes feels in the same way. Ask yourself what is true for you right now. Take your time with this, intuition is a language you have to learn! 

It's often easy to recognize what we don't want, but that's still plenty of information to move on.

From Seeking Validation to Reclamation

Of course, the challenge with external validation is that it is addictive because it give us a temporary boost through a dopamine hit in our brain, but it never lasts. It’s a false form of power that you will end up chasing for your entire life until you realize that the only way to thrive is through awakening to the power of your soul.

Self-worth and self-love are at the heart of you living the authentic, purpose-driven life of your dreams - one guided by your soul. Reclamation starts with choosing yourself and doing so unapologetically. Every time you say yes to one thing, you say no to another. Make sure you aren’t saying no to yourself. 

Write out your mantra with the phrase below to repeat to yourself when you feel the need to turn to validation or people pleasing over your own wants, needs and desires. 

“I choose to honour and love myself and I trust my heart to guide me even when...”

Let it flow naturally and even intentionally choose something that feels expansive. If you can attach emotion to it then its impact in the moment multiples immensely.

It might help you to become observant of when you seek validation the most - for example, I always sought validation in my life to do the things that I really cared about. I had this mental program running in my mind that always said "this is great, but does everyone else think its great?" As a result I ended up making a lot of poor career choices and doing things that weren't completely aligned with my true self.

Please remember too - seeking external validation is one of the most challenging cycles to break. Give yourself grace and know that you are still good and loved, even when you do things for your best and highest good.

Integrate it all

Take the above three prompts and integrate them into one flowing practice.

Sacred self awareness
What do I want? 
Where am I leaking energy?
Am I giving in when I don’t want to?
How am I sacrificing myself?

From noise to knowing
Hear the heart.
Take a deep breath. 
Feel into your mind, body and soul. 
What is true for me right now?
How is my mind responding to this?
How is my heart responding to this?
How is my soul responding to this?

From validation to reclamation
Choose Yourself.
Love Yourself.
See Yourself.
How am I trying to get a little bit of energy (validation) out of this?
Am I truly loving myself in this scenario?
How can I honour and love myself with grace in this scenario?
"I choose to honour and love myself and I trust my heart to guide me even when..."

Clarity is only found within

These three shifts may seem simple as you read them in this blog post, but they truly open a powerful gateway: the path back home to your authentic heart.

Clarity is a remembering, a returning and an embodied experience in your daily life.  

If this stirred something sacred in you, I invite you to take the next step with me. The Intuitive Path is a deeper journey into reclaiming your voice, your power, and your truth. It’s a self-paced, deep dive for women who are no longer willing to abandon themselves. Within it there are numerous meditations, prompts, ceremonies and teachings to help you come home to your authentic heart. 

This course is honestly the course I wish I had when I was navigating all the nitty gritty parts of my healing journey that just wouldn't come together in any kind of flow or logical sense. It really is such an extension of my heart that I would love for every woman on a healing journey to experience. I invite you to come and unravel the stories that once kept you small and return to the truth of who you are in The Intuitive Path.

From my wild, untamed heart to yours,
Emily